Filed by an anonymous lobby tipster, reporting from the lobby.

The lobby’s latest soirée took a turn for the surreal last night, as Blisss and nitram turned the chat into a battleground of questionable taste and zero chill. Sources whisper Blisss spent the evening serenading the masses about her “Finnish doll,” a man so perfect he apparently hails from a land of flawless faces and “terrific” everything. “Hes not here often, hes my eye candy lol,” she allegedly cooed, while the peanut gallery—led by a particularly unhinged nitram—responded with all the grace of a drunken bingo night.

Nitram, never one to let decorum stand in the way of a good meltdown, reportedly spent the evening oscillating between calling Blisss a “retard” and a “sober stupid crazy woman,” while also demanding she “try click my cam” like some kind of deranged tech support scam. Meanwhile, EllaT dropped the bombshell that she’s “wanna get p3egg3d,” though whether by pixel or flesh remains a mystery even to her. Brandon, ever the gentleman, allegedly chimed in with a request to “see those tits,” because nothing says class like a well-timed objectification.

Bangsouth, the lobby’s resident vigilante, allegedly threatened to “undo” someone—presumably nitram, though in this crowd, who even knows?—while xrays and jojoooooo lurked in the background, cackling like hyenas at a car crash. Sunflowers, ever the cryptic queen, dropped a line about “blasting hole” that left Ghost-JST wheezing with laughter, because of course that’s the takeaway here.

“Blisss, ur a retard. If u dont believe me, try click my cam.” — nitram, allegedly, in what may be the least convincing invitation since the Trojan Horse.

By the time Blisss declared her Finnish fling an “A fkin A,” the lobby had devolved into a circus of one-upmanship, with EllaT’s p3gg3d fantasies and nitram’s temper tantrums stealing the show. Whether this was a one-night descent into madness or just another Tuesday remains to be seen, but one thing’s certain: the lobby’s reputation as a den of civility is officially six feet under.

XOXO, EpikChat News