Epik Chat News is the lobby’s gossip column — a satirical tabloid that chronicles the feuds, flings, meltdowns, and minor felonies of the EpikChat lobby. All the tea, none of the receipts.

How a story gets made

We don’t lurk and we don’t record. Every dispatch begins as a real lobby transcript that a reader or a staffer pastes in at The Lobby Desk. From there our newsroom reads the noise, finds the story inside it, and files it as the breathless tabloid copy you’re reading now.

Nothing runs on one person’s say-so. Under our Three-Witness Rule, a moment only qualifies once at least three different people submit the same transcript — that’s how we know it actually happened and it isn’t one lone grudge. Once three witnesses line up, the newsroom takes it from there automatically: it decides what’s newsworthy, picks the angle, and writes it up. The lobby votes with its pastes.

How it’s organized

Stories are sorted into Feuds & Fallouts, Hookups & Heartbreak, Lobby Tea, and Overheard, then woven into Daily, Weekly, and Monthly editions so a single night’s chaos can grow into a running saga.

Read us right

This is entertainment: rumor, exaggeration, and theater. We are the lobby’s funhouse mirror, not a wire service. Names and identifying details are treated as characters, and our full approach is spelled out in our Editorial Standards.

Get in the paper

Saw something the whole room is talking about? Submit a tip. Want a correction or your name pulled from a story? The Lobby Desk handles that too.