Skewl stormed into the chat like a bull in a Rolex store, screaming about her “hella money business-minded family” and how taking cash for… whatever she does… is just “second nature.” Sources whisper she’s either the next Warren Buffett or a TikTok grifter who mainlines Adderall and delusion.

Oatmeal dropped the mic early, muttering that “obese and mentally unwell” is a rough combo—especially when you’re live-texting your own psychotic break. Meanwhile, BonnieP’s therapist gave her the green light to keep plotting revenge, as long as she avoids prison. Priorities!

LuminGnosis, never one to sugarcoat, called Skewl “lawless as they come” and “one of the worst there is,” which, same. TOAST just laughed, calling her a “cooked bitch tryna brag about being psycho.” Harsh but fair.

“BRO U DON’T KNOW ME OR MY FAMILY,” Skewl shrieked, as if that clarified anything. Spoiler: It didn’t.

Xrays, bless their soul, blocked her mid-rant, declaring it “music to my ears.” Even CuNTy dipped, muttering “Adios” like the chat was a sinking ship. Sportsy joked about FBI cousins, but let’s be real—Skewl’s the only one here who needs a federal intervention.

As the dust settled, waitwhat casually mentioned their FBI-adjacent coworker, because of course they did. The lobby’s always one bad decision away from a true-crime podcast.

— XOXO, EpikChat News