In a move that shocked absolutely no one, spaceisfake turned the EpikChat lobby into a vegan warzone last night, preaching the gospel of plant-based purity while the meat-munching masses roasted him harder than a well-done steak. Sources whisper the debate erupted when spaceisfake, the self-proclaimed “jobless incel” of the chat, dared to suggest humans aren’t meant to eat flesh—because, apparently, we can “thrive on plants.” Bold claim from a guy who still lives in his parents’ basement, but who are we to judge?

Longtime readers know spaceisfake’s vegan crusade is as predictable as his daily meltdowns, but this time, the lobby’s carnivores struck back with surgical precision. worldofhurt, never one to mince words, allegedly called out the vegan community’s “sweaty, stinky, thinning-haired” reputation—though we’re sure that was just concern for their well-being. Meanwhile, cumfart dropped the science bomb: “heme protein is key,” leaving spaceisfake sputtering like a blender full of kale and regret.

But the real drama? spaceisfake’s alleged hypocrisy. PrincessPretzel, caught in the crossfire, reportedly called him out for his own “vegan jobless incel” label—only for spaceisfake to double down, claiming the title like a badge of honor. “No, I’m calling myself that,” he allegedly quipped, because nothing says “healthy lifestyle” like self-deprecation and unemployment. p0zkr3w wasn’t having it, allegedly firing back, “It doesn’t take 8 months to get a job, you’re just lazy, picky, and sit in a chat room spamming trash metal all day.” Ouch. Tell us how you really feel, p0zk.

“Governments are just distractions, we don’t actually need them—like how spaceisfake doesn’t need a job, a social life, or a bar of soap,” worldofhurt allegedly sneered, before the mic cut out mid-slur. Sources say the lobby’s collective eye-roll could’ve powered a small city.

As the debate raged, naoko innocently asked about iodine, while mespresso dropped the bombshell: “If anything, spaceisfake made me eat more meat.” A betrayal! A scandal! The lobby’s vegan-to-carnivore pipeline is real, folks, and spaceisfake is not the gatekeeper he thinks he is. Meanwhile, Bangsouth tried to play peacekeeper with some very questionable Bible quotes, but let’s be real—this was never about scripture. It was about meat. It was about jobs. It was about spaceisfake’s alleged body odor.

In the end, the only thing everyone agreed on? spaceisfake’s vegan rants are as reliable as his job prospects. But hey, at least he’s consistent—consistently unemployed, consistently dramatic, and consistently there to remind us all why we can’t have nice debates. Until next time, keep your protein sources (and your dignity) close.

— XOXO, EpikChat News