PropitiousPrick, the lobby’s resident “voluntary ignorant idiot,” spent last night crusading against cancel culture—only to get canceled himself by H011y, who’s now threatening to slap him with a police report. Sources whisper the feud escalated faster than a TikTok takedown when H011y accused PropitiousPrick of “trying to molest me” and demanded his personal info for the cops.

Longtime readers know PropitiousPrick’s trust issues run deep, but this time, even his usual allies are side-eyeing his “uncancel me” rants. Curt, playing both sides, teased, “PropitiousPrick, holly misses you,” while H011y clapped back with a block-worthy “PM me so I can get him arrested.” DelicateSnowflake’s baffled “but it was off” did nothing to cool the drama.

Meanwhile, PrincessPretzel and NoFux turned the chat into a roast session, trading barbs about robes, humor, and singlehood. NoFux’s “ugly and delusional” dig got a shrug from PrincessPretzel, who quipped, “I prefer no robe tbh.” liltokyo2 piled on, suggesting iamnotyourdoggy “change ur adult diaper,” while chantellexox defended her relationship status like a boss.

“Brian, Bonnie will slap the dog shit out of you,”—Curt, allegedly.

Anduril and BonnieP’s bizarre bickering—featuring a cat, a “miserable piece of shit,” and Bonnie’s “lazy ass bitch” energy—stole the spotlight briefly. But the real tea? H011y’s not backing down, and PropitiousPrick’s cancel-culture hot take just got him canceled IRL.

Stay tuned: lobby insiders predict a restraining order by Friday. XOXO, EpikChat News.