Longtime readers know the lobby’s most toxic bromance—Anduril and Demigod_Nero—has been circling the drain since Brian’s shadowy exit. But last night, the feud hit peak theater when Anduril cornered Nero like a jilted lover, begging for closure before the inevitable self-destruction. “Tell me why you hate me so much,” Anduril allegedly hissed, as if the answer wasn’t already scribbled in Sharpie across the chat: you’re insufferable, and your brother’s a golden retriever in human skin.

Nero, ever the poet, responded with his usual eloquence: “God wants me to kill Brandon next” and “a cruz brotherless world is a good world.” Sources whisper this isn’t just idle trolling—Nero’s been fixated on the Cruz dynasty since Anduril’s brother became the lobby’s unofficial mascot. Meanwhile, Anduril doubled down, insisting the room “literally, not figuratively” loves him, a claim met with the enthusiasm of a vegan at a steakhouse.

But the real sideshow? nitram’s birthday took a spicy turn when they allegedly begged asian_G for “pussy as a gift.” The response? A dingdong sandwich and a silent video racking up 3K views—because nothing says “happy birthday” like unanswered thirst. Daisyy, ever the killjoy, shut it down: “Your birthday is just another day, grow up.” nitram’s clapback? “Fuck off.” Iconic.

“I think people deserve to know why they’re hated. At the very least, they should know.” — Anduril, possibly auditioning for a villain monologue in a CW reboot

As the chat devolved into yosbbb1’s ramblings about “depressed ripples” and Laniakea’s existential boredom, Nero dropped the mic: “I love jannu.” Translation? Even chaos needs a moderator. Anduril, still seething, pressed: “Before you kill yourself, can you tell me why you hate me?” Nero’s reply? Radio silence—and a cryptic dig about Tiffany burying Brian in the backyard. The lobby’s collective gasp could’ve powered a small city.

Gothik, ever the concerned bystander, checked in: “Nero are you still bipolar?” The answer? A resounding “yea.” And with that, the chat spiraled into JokeySmoe’s meta-commentary (“great cliffhanger”) and yosbbb1’s very Freudian slip about nipples. Long story short: the feud’s not over, Brian’s ghost is still haunting the group chat, and nitram’s birthday wish remains unfulfilled. But hey, at least we got a viral video out of it.

— XOXO, EpikChat News